Okay - so yesterday, with a little of that yucky landmine residue still clinging to me, H was online looking at lodging for an upcoming trip to Hawaii (to attend a friend's wedding). He wanted to show me the places he'd found and I told him he had to do it on his own, that I just really couldn't help with it. That's all I said, but he knew why - we are going to the same area where he started his affair with OW, and it just brought back yucky memories to me of him scouting his "love nest" right under my nose with me knowing nothing about it.
Nothing more was said, but this morning I got an email from my H. I'll share it here because while I know not everyone's H's may be so eloquent, I bet other H's in Piecing feel the same way - so feel free to consider my H to be speaking for your spouse too.
Quote: My Beloved Ellie,
It's my fault and I want to apologize. With this trip to Hawaii, I realize that certain painful memories are being stirred.
Those were unthinkably difficult times. I own and I apologize for all that make Hawaii stir bad memories for you. I was wrong, I wish that I could do it over and I apologize to depth of my soul.
Here, today, I am privileged to be married to the most wonderful woman in the world who I love and adore. As much as what we transcended was horrible, where we arrived is unique, precious and wonderful. We cannot allow ghosts to spook us, to keep us from appreciating all that we have. We can't allow those bad memories of what we made it through steal from us what we have worked so hard to find. We cannot let the bad of the past erode the wonders of today.
Let's make this trip a celebration of what we've learned (together), what we have discovered (together) and most importantly, of what we have and are (together). I am yours forever and I don't want to waste a single day that we have (together).
I love you.
Yeah - that's why I never gave up on him. What a guy.
