Again, I understand exactly what you mean. I’d like to go home to find H’s lunch dishes on the table, his towel on the bathroom floor. Things like that. But, he wants it this way, he wants to live alone, have his own things. He said he never got to do this before and this is where he begins to blame getting married too young. You know, Imdi, I sometimes wonder if I’m being shielded from H. right now. Not that he was ever physically abusive, but his bitter moods, his quick-to-snap attitude (like, when he’s hungry or tired), things like this. I think it boils down to his depression that rises to the surface many times. He has not dealt with this. It makes me wonder if he’s like this around o.w. I don’t know. But maybe living apart, although it hurts me terribly, is best? Sorry to hijack…just thinking out loud.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
