Imdi, I wish I could offer you advice on this, but I can't. I do understand not wanting him to feel like he's "having his cake..." but I do feel any connection you can keep with him is a good idea. In my case, I was doing as you are now, but about a month ago, H. decided we should not continue to do that anymore. I am not sure why, although I think perhaps there were many reasons: it was confusing for him, he felt it might be misleading me, and he was trying to prove himself trustworthy to o.w. Right around the same time is when I noticed a big change in his behavior...not calling as much, not coming over anymore, no more dinners together. So, I say if you can keep it going, it might be a good tie to have with him even though you have second thoughts about it, because you know he has o.w. and you are not living together right now. But only do so if you feel comfortable with it; don't do anything to compromise that.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
