Imdi, You are right about the pride thing. But definitely ask him to go with you even if it you don't think it will be a big deal. Think of it this way, you'd want your best friend to go with you.
Thanks ladies... I spoke with my doctor. The biopsy came back with abnormal/suspicious cells and he wants to cut away more of the tissue to make sure there is nothing there that can grow into something worse. I called H and he was very supportive...asked me when it was and time...i told him. He said "i could arrange my schedule to go with you if you want." I said "yes, i would like that." So, it looks like he will be going with me, which i am glad about, b/c it hurts like hell. Last time he was actually in the room with me and held my hand throughout the whole thing.
Nothing too exciting this weekend...brunch on Sunday with some girlfriends...have to decide whether to wear my rings or not, as only one of them (my BF) knows what is going on. I would like to do something tonight or tomorrow night...we'll see. Tomorrow i am getting my hair cut and then off for visitation...might see H, so i gotta make sure i look super hot!
I'm home, alone. Went to get coffee...fun Friday night for me. Curious as to what H is doing tonight. I was tempted to drive by ow's house to see if he was there. But, what would that really do for me? Nothing. Would i confront him? I don't know. And if i did, what would he say? Probably some bizarre story. God, this sucks! Why am i home alone, while he is off with the beast? I am just in a pissy mood, b/c i don't want to be home. But, i have no one to do things with...all my friends are married with kids. I am feeling particularly sorry for myself tonight...can you tell? I guess i am annoyed that H didn't call the rest of the day, just to see how i was after talking to me this morning about health issue. Jacka$$.
I will not call him...I will not call him....I will not call him....
Ah, Imdi. I wish I were closer. I'm sorry you were lonely. I know it doesn't help now, but the only thing that's gonna make things easier is time ... and steering clear of OW's house. I've seriously noticed that my strength level went up about 3 knotches this week, since I don't know where H's living now. That's what I wish for everyone: That you didn't know where your Ss live. Then you wouldn't even be tempted to drive by their houses.
Hang in there, and have fun this weekend. Kick back a little. I'm thinkin' of ya!
How are you feeling today? I am so sorry you had a lonely night. I understand, believe me. Most of my friends here are also married w/kids. They do not have many free nights to be spending with me.
Wish I had stayed online later; we could have chatted.
P&DBing, thankfully my H. isn't living with o.w. and although I have been to the house where my H. is living, I do not actually know how to get there. Plus, I promised him that I would not invade his privacy over there, so he knows I wouldn't ever go by.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hi ladies... Thanks for your support. I will check in with your threads...
Today was okay...got a haircut...can i tell you, i love it! Had visitation today. H called on my way to haircut appointment...told him i would probably be by the house around 2p. Got to my house around 1:50...he pulled in a few minutes later. He stayed for a few minutes. Told me i was too skinny and that i need to eat...tried to convince him that i do...he asked how much i weighed now and what size my jeans were. He kept telling me to eat and that he didn't want me to get sick...then he started crying and said he was sorry about my back. Told him i was fine and that i would be okay (why am i comforting him when i am the one going under the knife?) Anyway, he got his coat on to leave, then stayed and made me a sandwich so that i would eat. He gave me several kisses and hugs. Then he left. I was there for a few hours and was getting ready to leave when he came home...a few more kisses before i left and that was that. He said, "okay, i'll talk to you soon." Told him that that bothered me...the "soon"...that i attached a negative meaning to it...like it meant he would talk to me in the next month or something. Probably not a good thing to say, but i had to. He said, "what would be better? i'll talk to you tomorrow." So, that was that. Overall, a decent visit. But, it is so confusing...he is still affectionate towards me...there is no tension...i don't get it. Not that i would prefer if he was nasty, but it is confusing nonetheless. But, i am NOT complaining.
Anyway, here i am, on Saturday night and i am home alone again...god, i am sooooo bored.
Me too. I was reading a book all evening; took a break and jumped on here. No calls from H. today so I'm down of course.
Your H. is still affectionate to you; a big plus. Mine has stopped even giving me a hug and quick kiss anymore. I don't know why. Maybe he feels it's misleading?
He stayed and made you lunch...that was sweet Imdi. He's concerned about you; that is good! He cares a lot. He wouldn't stay, make you lunch, ask about your size, etc. if he didn't. Take comfort in this.
Also, he said he'd talk to you tomorrow...Good!!! Another baby step! Add them up...it was a positive interaction today. Smile!!!
Tell me about your haircut!!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hey hope- I've been watching Lifetime all night...
There were a lot of positives with my H today...and I am happy about it. I guess, sometimes, i wonder why he is this way with me. Is it out of guilt? Or pity? Does he feel sorry for me for what he is doing? God, i hope not...that would be be really bad. I want him to do these things b/c he wants to, not b/c he feels bad, or out of obligation. Anyway...
My haircut...nothing too different...long layers, but my girl curled the bottom, so it looks really nice...wish i had someplace to go. Although, i was happy to see my H today, as i felt like i looked extra good. He told me i looked hot...told him I knew that! I was good today...i sat and watched tv with the cats, while he went about his business in the house. And, then, i left when he came home. Normally, i would have hung around...so, that was different for me. Although, he didn't seem like he cared too much that i was leaving. Whatever...
Hope, here's a question: if i am not getting too personal...i don't remember if you shared this previously...but, how did your H finally admit to his A?
He told me i looked hot...told him I knew that! This is exactly what Chuck told me to do...let H. know you KNOW you look good, in a flirty manner.
And, you left when he got back. Good! I know how hard that must be for you, because all you want to do is stay there with H. and kitties. You have a lot of strength, Imdi.
Ok to post the answer to your question here? H. had to admit it. I found photos he took of him and her in another city when he had said he was there visiting a family member. He lied to me. He took her for a weekend away, took photos of the trip (they went sightseeing) and had them on his computer. For some reason (and I truly believe it was a Higher Power helping me find the answer I was looking for; H. was acting SO odd for over a month) I looked on his computer and found these photos. I confronted him, and he could no longer lie. At that point, it had been going on for 4 months. Only for about 2 did I sense he was "off" but when I asked him if he was seeing someone else, he denied, denied, denied. He got very good at lying to me.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Thanks also for answering my question...I'm sorry you had to go through that...must have been awful. Don't you think its odd he would have those pix on the computer? I have to tell you, I avoid going on our computer at home, just in case something pops up that i don't want to see...that might make me throw up!
