Good, you didn't call him last night. Excellent. Time to have that drink.
He wanted you to come by and get the shirt...great! A reason to see you! And it sounds like it went pretty well.
Quote: Anyway, it was a nice night. I might see him this Saturday...that will be my visiting day and he said he might be home...we'll see.
Good!! Now, here is a thought. Can you possibly do something different that might surprise him, without it being over the top? Maybe bring a board game (would he play?) or possibly cook something yummy and bring it over? I'm just throwing stuff out here but I'm thinking that if you have the chance to see him, maybe you could do something out of the ordinary to turn his head a little?
What do you think?
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Quote: But, i have to take our interactions at face value and stop attaching my own meaning to it (like, oh he wants to see me, it must mean he wants to be back together).
Going in my quote book... i think i put far too much stock in our dinner last night... then when i found out some other news, i came crashing down so hard... i'll work on this... as much as i've told him he has to stop anticipating my reactions to things, i have to stop trying to "figure him out." there is no logic, no reason, no sense. if there was, then this wouldn't be happening!
Quote: I am starting to believe, slowly, that I will be okay. I believe that we all will...b/c we all deserve that chance to be happy!
i'm so happy to hear you say this! you keep saying, and i'll keep saying - we'll all be saying it --- it'll be anarchy!
glad today was a better day for you... here's to tomorrow.
Hi guys- Having a tough night. Kept myself busy at work today, but today is a tough day. Two years ago, an old friend of mine committed suicide. Its weird, i hadn't seen him in so long, and yet when i heard it about it, it hit me so hard. Just a lousy day.
And to make matters worse, i got a message from my H tonight. I called him back and he said he would call me later...that he wanted to talk to me, but it was nothing urgent. So, i obsessed for 2 hours over what it was. He finally called a little while ago. My doctor's office called my house today. Turns out that one of the biopsies i had done last week came back with "abnormal cells." I had skin cancer almost 3 years ago, and last spring i had to have something with "abnormal cells" removed. This is the same thing, and probably isn't a big deal. Just that, its hard to have to go through this without my H. He even came with me last spring, despite things being soooo tense b/w us. I don't know if he will offer this time. I have to call the doctor tomorrow to find out what the next step is and H did tell me to call him as soon as i spoke to the doctor. God, this sucks.
Sorry, just feeling very sorry for myself tonight. Going to check on all of you.
You will be first in my prayers tonight. I'm really sorry that you are going through all of this. It s*cks. Totally. Could you call your H. to tell him? I know your interaction with him has been pretty good lately. And, since he went through this with you before, I am sure he would want to know about this. It might not be a bad idea to let him know. Maybe even just text him and then let him call you?
Did you tell your aunt and uncle? I am sure they will be there for you, too. So will we.
I just reread your post; sounds like you DID tell H. and that's good. I'm so glad.
Take it easy the rest of the night and just unwind from all of this. I will be checking on you. Going to bed now; not feeling well either.
Hugs!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Thanks hope... Actually, my H spoke to the doctor's office b/c he got the call and he made them tell him the results (sorry, that wasn't clear in my first post)...then he called me to tell me. I haven't told my aunt and uncle. My aunt will tell my mother, who will just worry. Last spring, i didn't tell my parents until after it was all done and i got to see them. I know my mother will somehow blame this on my H (like he caused my skin cancer...whatever).
Thank you for your hugs and prayers. I hope you feel better...sleep well.
my cousin committed suicide almost a year ago (2/13/05). it still hits me like a ton of bricks on a daily basis... here's a great big hug.
and weird as it may be, my mom has gone through the skin cancer deal on and off for the last 7 years. i know it's scary and hard... we're here for you even if we can't be "there" for you.
you're entitled to a little feeling sorry for yourself.... we are all... life just keeps handing us stuff huh? day after day - minute after minute. but the beauty of it is, you are so strong and so incredibly wonderful - even in your weakest moments. and the fact that you're here, not only sharing your pain, but trying to help others through theirs... i can't say enough how inspiring that is. you hang in there...
Sorry to hear about test results. Always good to catch those things early but I can imagine it must be scary. My mom had cancer that got caught in time but I know every year when she goes for her check in .. it is scary for her.
WOuld you feel comfortable perhaps even just asking H if he would go with you?
brava
Me: 36 He: 34 no kids Married: 2000 He left: July 05
Thanks everybody...it means so much to me that all of you care...
Brava - I could ask my H...i always do this though. I don't ask, for fear of rejection, then he doesn't offer b/c he doesn't think i want him to go. Becomes a pride thing. I just have to remind myself that pride is my worst enemy. Once i know more details, i will discuss with him. I imagine he will offer to go, since he went with me when i got the biopsies done.
