I don't know if any of this made sense, or even addressed what you were saying. It's just what i thought and i had to get it out.
It all made perfect sense.
Now you can understand why GAL means so much because when you have time on your hands and you sit around, then of course your thoughts start drifting and focusing on him instead of you and what you could/should be doing. I know it's tough during the holidays and yes thank goodness they are over.
You are correct you will survive, one way or the other, because you already HAVE survived. My therapist asked me once what was my biggest fear in all this...and I said that I would lose him and our life together as I had known it...(something to that affect anyway, it's a blur now...) and she said well haven't you already lost him...isn't that now all the past. I thought about it and realized, of course she was right...and look I had survived my fear. That was one of the turning points for me in my path.
Now of course it is up to you where you go from here on this path of rediscovery of yourself. Never mind if he regrets this or that, or whether or not it's his loss...again that's putting focus on him. He doesn't deserve it right now...you do...continue to shine, grow and learn to love yourself again...continue to know that you are a truly wonderful person inside and out...
