It’s a deal. I, too, hear all the same things from people, and find it hard to believe myself, because the one person I’d like to “want” me doesn’t seem to anymore, and the rejection is crippling. That is the only way I can describe it. It did cripple my existence for too long. As I’ve said, it’s time for us to gain self-respect. I know I can’t do that if I’m chasing my H. I also agree with what you said about D. not being the end of the world. I know in my case, there would be a lot of negatives, and not just losing H. But then there would also be pluses, like being near my family again. So, I try to remember that when I get scared about D. Try to find positives in it, but also don’t dwell on D. too much. I think the trick is to not be afraid of the topic, should it come up from H. You obviously have so much to offer, Imdi. Start believing it, and it will show. Your confidence level will go up and others will respond, and it will make you feel so much better. I know how hard it is to put H. out of your mind, but let go just a little bit every day, and you’ll start to gain control again. I know we’ll have bad days where we’ll slip up, and I forgive us for this already. But we both have to change the rules on these guys, because they have too much control, and that isn’t right. Hugs!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Quote: Okay, lets make a deal...we are going to stop pursuing and gain back some self respect! If you can do it, so can I!
I wanna play too. I'm just bad at it... But I'm going to make a conscious effort!!!
Quote: I know we’ll have bad days where we’ll slip up, and I forgive us for this already. But we both have to change the rules on these guys, because they have too much control, and that isn’t right.
You are so right there, Hope. We've been giving them not only the power in our R and our M, but also in our own self worth. And that's unacceptable. We need to remember that we are strong, beautiful, incredible women and any many who can't recognize that and treat us the way we deserve to be treated is a fool... Just wish I didn't love a fool! Hang in there girls. Tomorrow is another day.
Quote: Okay, lets make a deal...we are going to stop pursuing and gain back some self respect! If you can do it, so can I!
I wanna play too. I'm just bad at it... But I'm going to make a conscious effort!!!
Quote: I know we’ll have bad days where we’ll slip up, and I forgive us for this already. But we both have to change the rules on these guys, because they have too much control, and that isn’t right.
You are so right there, Hope. We've been giving them not only the power in our R and our M, but also in our own self worth. And that's unacceptable. We need to remember that we are strong, beautiful, incredible women and any many who can't recognize that and treat us the way we deserve to be treated is a fool... Just wish I didn't love a fool! Hang in there girls. Tomorrow is another day.
YOU GO GIRLS....that's all I can say...and you know what they say in DB land...actions speak louder than words...let's see some action!!!
TTS- Glad to have you join in our deal. And don't worry, if one of us slips, the others will be there for support. Or, Sassy will be there with the whip
any many who can't recognize that and treat us the way we deserve to be treated is a fool... Just wish I didn't love a fool!
Hey hope- Thanks for checking in...had an okay night. Dinner with a girlfriend, then home. H did call to tell me he bought me something...go figure! On my long drive to work this morning, i decided that i am really going to try to lower my expectations of him. Now, that might sound kind of crazy, but it is for my own sanity. If i expect less of him, then if i get more, i will be even happier.
Quote: i decided that i am really going to try to lower my expectations of him. Now, that might sound kind of crazy, but it is for my own sanity. If i expect less of him, then if i get more, i will be even happier.
This was my plan too... Really have they delivered on anything that we have "expected" them to deliver on? Not so much. So, this is a pretty darn good way to look at it... i mean, generally i'm off the school 'if you expect good things, good things will come to you.' -- but at this point, not at the expense of our hearts!
wonder what he got you.
my bday is coming up... i'm wondering how/if he'll handle it. hmmmm. half hope he does nothing half hope he does something.
I think it’s a good plan to lower your expectations, and I should abide by the same line of thinking. It’s hard to do this, though. I used to never doubt H. or the things I knew he would do for me. Now I have to change the way I think about him, and it’s nearly impossible some days. I know you understand. Now, what did he buy you? Is it your birthday soon? I don’t know if you feel this way, Imdi, but now that the hustle of the holidays has come and gone, I find myself feeling a void. The holidays kept me busier, despite being difficult to get through. I feel like life is getting back to normal now for everyone but me, and this limbo place I am in feels stark and lonely. I don’t mean to bring down your thread, Imdi. Just wondered if you felt this way too?
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
TTS- Thanks for checking in...i know what my H bought me...it is actually a t-shirt with my favorite baseball player's name on it (baseball is a shared hobby of ours)...we have been looking for one for months and could never find one. He said he was out and saw it and got it for me. Very thoughtful of him. He was thinking of me and of something that we really enjoyed doing together...and maybe of what he will be missing? Either way, it was nice of him. I am usually the one to buy things for him when i am out and about, so this is a nice change.
Anyone else game?