I'm glad my "lonely/being alone" thing made sense. It hit me just the other day that this could very well be the case.
Its amazing, isn't it, how different things are once we change our behaviors? I am trying very hard not to call my H...last week was tough, with the holidays and not working, i had too much time on my hands to think about everything. So, i am going to try to detach from him a bit, back off, give him some space. I don't know if it will get me what i want - my H back - but pursuing him didn't do it either, and it only made me feel worse. So, i need to take back some control of my life. And i need to start believing that getting D isn't the end of the world. People keep telling me what a wonderful person i am, that i am beautiful and will have no problem getting someone else. While that is not my immediate goal, it does help the PMA. Now, i just have to really internalize it and start believing it. I do feel better about myself after having lost some weight. Although, last night, i kind of got scared when i realized that i was down to 105...too close to 100 for me. I couldn't tell you the last time i was this thin. Gee, probably in junior high school. Anyway, i digress. My point is, i need to start believing that i am beautiful...inside and out. Perhaps that should be one of my resolutions.
Okay, lets make a deal...we are going to stop pursuing and gain back some self respect! If you can do it, so can I!
