My H keeps telling me how lonely he is. And every time he says it, i think "yeah right, how can you be lonely when you've got ow to keep you company." And then i realized that there is a difference b/w being alone and being lonely. He is not alone b/c he has her, but it doesn't mean that he still doesn't feel lonely, b/c maybe she really isn't fulfilling that fundamental need. Perhaps she is just a "warm body", so to speak (yes, i might puke at that thought). Does that make sense? It does now. I was going to tell you that my H. has told me the same thing, he is lonely. It makes me furious...he's got o.w. and I am alone!!! I am lonely. But you explain it very well and perhaps that is what both your H. and mine mean when they tell us that.
Has being separated from me really made his life so much better? Of course not. But he is trying to convince himself that it's better. We know it isn't; he's still unhappy.
So, my resolution to close the door, has gone out the window. I have decided though that i need to detach/go dark/drop the rope...whatever you want to call it. Me too. I haven't called him in nearly a week now. Let's both keep it up and see where it takes us, ok? Believe me, in just a few days I feel alot better because I am gaining back my own respect. I can't chase H. any longer and I'm tired of feeling like I need him. We can do this, Imdi.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
