Ditto. Big Ditto to everything Preggo just posted. It's the one issue in your sitch that has bothered me from the start. Your H wants to blame you. So he is projecting what he is doing all back on you. The results? "The love of his life" sits home determined to prove she is trustworthy.???
You are trustworthy! Don't buy this crap anymore. He is not going to wake up until you start living your life. I call this attitude from our husbands the Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater Syndrome. He has manipulated you into sitting in your pumpkin shell. Then there you'll be if and when he decides he's through playing. My H is living in the same nursery rhyme. He hasn't factored in that I'm not going to stay home and mourn him! Hasn't quite caught on to that yet...but he will.
AND THERE HE KEPT HER VERY WELL
Break free! GAL! It's the perfect time to start the next part of your life.
I know you do not want to give your H an "excuse" to file the papers by doing something that you know will piss him off. He knows that, too! I know that's a scary place to be in. But really, Imdi, what is your biggest fear here? That he's going to leave? He's already gone. And it doesn't appear that you are giving him a reason to want to come back. You cannot "nice" him into wanting to come home. He's manipulating you so that he doesn't have to own his own problem. What's he want to be able to say? "See you can't be trusted!" "It's your fault we have to divorce." Whoa! This makes me so mad. Sorry. I really am. It's just so frustrating to me when I look at your sitch (and Hope's) and it seems like there is so much hope there if you would just take back control of your life from H. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I want your life to get better. Sorry if this all sounded mean.
Hugs and best wishes for the new year.
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
