Every day my confusion grows...

[hopefloats7]

And their R is based on lies too...she cheated on her H with him...does he not realize that that is so much worse than what i did? And that she could do it to him as well? Does he really want the responsibility of somebody else's kids,

They do realize it can be done back to them. At first, I never thought my H. gave this a lot of thought. Only when he began opening up to me about the many problems in his R. with o.w. ("We argue too much to be in a relationship" and "There is nothing she could say that would make me trust her") did I start to realize that the basis of their R. was very, very unstable. They will only be known as cheaters to each other, no matter what they do now.

I am not sure how to address the issue of children, Imdi. I can tell you that in our case, it wasn't that we didn't want kids. Now, H. is carrying a photo of o.w.'s child in his wallet. Oh yeah, this bothers me a lot. Maybe he wants a family? Or thought he did? Do you think that is possible in your H.'s case? Did he feel, perhaps, that he was missing out on that and was drawn to an instant family? Not to add more worries to you; just posing the questions that might lead you to an answer.

Please take care today; I am thinking of you.