RE: H and OW...no, this is not the first time that I have heard about an A b/w them. There have been things over the past 2 years that have made me suspicious. This kind of confirmed it for me, which i really wasn't ready for.
RE: what do i want to do? I want to continue to have hope for my M. My H said the same thing...he couldn't decide for me whether or not i should still have hope. And i do understand that. I guess i just felt like, if there is absolutely no chance for us, and he is 100% committed to D, then why should i still hope? I guess i was looking for him to say something one way or the other. Its like, i have this goal in mind...to be with my H. If all of efforts to reach that goal are really pointless, then what am i doing? Its hard for me to explain. I guess he was trying to say that throughout our R, he was always the one to make decisions, and i always relied on him. Now, he is saying that i need to make decisions for myself. I understand that. Just hard to hope, when the outcome is uncertain.
RE: what are my boundaries? Thats a good question...not sure i have an answer. Knowing what i know now, about him and SOW, i am still willing to forgive him if he decided he wanted to be with me. I have been separated for a year, so i am not sure if there is a time limit for me on when i would say "enough is enough." I don't know what would finally make me throw in the towel. I guess i need to think about that.
I guess at this point, i need to just use his ambivalence to my advantage. And see what happens.
