Hey, Imdi! I've read some of your posts, but I'm not wholly familiar with your sitch, so I apologize for not knowing what's going on.
First, you said in your post that you had always thought there was something between H and this OW. Is this the first you've heard that there's apparently an actual A going on?
Second, the biggest question I had after reading your post was this: What do *you* want to do? Do you want to give up? Do you want to have hope?
The answers all lie within you. Whether or not you have hope is not up to your H; it's up to you. Whether or not you give up is not up to your H; it's up to you.
What are your boundaries? What would it take, in your opinion, to finally "be done?"
