PandDBing- I am certainly no expert on this issue, especially since my H continues to deny his A. However, regardless of whether your H left you to be with her, he is still your H. In my mind, that is an A. That being said, do you think that what he is doing is an A? How does what he is doing make you feel? Infidelity, affairs, cheating: they are all just labels. What matters are the feelings this other R brings up in you.
My H is blaming us not reconciling on me too...b/c i betrayed him. I guess he does not see what he has been doing as a betrayal...whatever. Oh, wait, that's right...they're just friends...
Anyway, remember that you can't listen to anything they say right now. What spews from their mouths are things to make themselves feel better...about themselves and what they are doing. By making you the "manipulative b@#%&" he is justifying his actions, probably because he feels like s..t b/c he knows it is wrong.
I haven't read any of those books that you mentioned. I have picked up a few books on infidelity, but i never buy them b/c i don't feel like they address my sitch directly. I want to know why my H just doesn't admit it if he wants to D anyway. But, that's my issue. If you get any of those books and feel they are worthwhile, let me know. Thanks.
