Our Hs, at one time, were kinda wrapped around our fingers. I never meant to take advantage of that. I believe I may have gotten to a point where I did, then something happened, and I opened my eyes to the reality that I could lose the guy I love
I gotta jump in here PandDBing...this is exactly the same thing I did with my H. I always felt like I had the control in my M...that my H would NEVER leave me b/c he loved me too much. I took that for granted. I took advantage of him. And every time my H would say to me, "look, i am having a hard time now...you need to let me in, be more affectionate, etc." - that was when I would "step up to the plate" as my H likes to say. It was always when my back was up against the wall that i decided to change and become more loving and affectionate. Thing is, my changes never lasted...after a while, i would go back to how i had been. After 10 years of that, i guess my H doesn't believe it will last this time. And, i can't really blame him. He actually admitted that the year before i moved out, when he started to pull away from me, he was doing it purposely b/c he was finally getting a response from me. Interesting. Thing is, now that i really do feel capable of giving him all the things he needed, i don't think i will get the chance. I guess i can use what i have learned in my next R, if there is one. I'll tell you, this whole experience is enough to make me swear off love for the rest of my life. But, i know i'll be a sucker again. I just hope i don't make the same mistakes.
Sorry to have hijacked there...just couldn't miss commenting on the similarities...glad i'm not the only one who feels that way.
And, i have to say, that i really do admire your strength. I don't know how i would do this if i was pregnant...let alone if i had caught my H with his OW (well, i kind of have, just not with "his pants down"). Your last post was really inspiring. I don't even think anything i could say would really do it justice. Just know that people here respect you for your strength. I appreciate the feedback you have given me. Thank you.
