I love how supportive you guys are! Thanks to each of you. I actually checked with my sister, who's an RN, and she said my midwife wouldn't be able to get OW's medical records, but she could find out if anything is in her records that's "reportable," such as HIV and possible Hepatitis B -- if OW had ever been tested positive.
But you never know what I could do just to make them sweat. Then again, on days like today, I just feel like saying screw it. In 6 months from now, none of this will matter. I'll have my baby, I'll have the option of living the life H is now living, and I won't be in love with him anymore.
I know that sounds cold and vicious, and probably pretty egotistical, but it's true. It would be different if H was giving me any indication that he's remorseful or feels guilty about what he's doing. But not only is he not acting that way, he's practically rubbing his A in my face. It's a question that can't be answered, but: Why? Why does he feel the need to pi$$ me off? Why is he so emboldened to carry on this life, right in front of my face? I don't get it. But I don't get twisted people, I guess.
PF, I know exactly what you mean about the integrity of the OW. I thought the same thing. Okay, so she'll spread her legs for somebody else's H, but I'm supposed to believe she's a good, clean, little girl?? Whatever. H knows I'm not stupid. Right now, I think he's just taking advantage of my seemingly very vulnerable position. I don't have much confidence in myself right now. Not only did my H apparently leave me for another woman, but he did it when I'm pregnant!!! Oh well. Keep reminding me, guys: Only four more months. He's gonna have no idea what hit him.
P.S. Andrea, no ice cream cravings yet; just olives and the like (yak!) I actually found out yesterday that I lost 4 pounds in 4 weeks. Ugh. I've gained less than 2 pounds total, and I'm 21 weeks preggo. My midwife said she isn't worried, though.
