Hey, April. Thank you. I know I'll be better in about 4 months. That's when the baby's due. I'm hanging on for dear life until then.
My H has the entire week off this week. I was hoping he'd stay in PA. He didn't. He's already back home. You guys have *no idea* -- or maybe you do -- how hard it is to live across the street from your cheating spouse. Of course, I think, after I walked in on him, that maybe he's taken his A to the OW's neck of the woods. H hasn't been home a lot lately. The way I look at it: The more time they spend together, the sooner those fires will burn out. Then again, maybe not. And what does it matter anyway?
Anyway, I went home a little while ago, and guess who's in the driveway, working on his gawd-awful car? I swear, I just wish he would go away. I spent several days with my parents, in another town, over Christmas, and it was such a respite. I realized that if H or I either one would simply move to a different section of town, I could get over him in a fraction of the time it's going to take me to move on while we're practically next-door neighbors. But legally, I can't move. We'll see what happens with H after his roomie moves away next month. Roomie is buying his house, and last I heard, H wasn't sure if he'd be selling it or renting it after he moved. H had told he doesn't have enough $ to afford rent on his own, since he's still paying the mortgage on our house (where I'm living). Up until I caught him in his compromising position, H's plan was to move back home in Jan., when roomie moved. Obviously, that's not going to happen now.
I had the worst thought two days before Christmas: What if J (OW) moves in with H? Ugh. That would totally suck. But it would make sense. He could split the cost of rent with her. Ya know, it's hard enough for me to deal with seeing H's car everyday. I'm not sure how I'd handle seeing her there, too. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it. I'll just have to wait and see.
So back to me going home a little while ago: I'm driving my parents' car. The inspection on mine is two months past due, so my dad is getting it inspected for me. When I pulled into my driveway a little while ago, H smiled from behind the hood of his car and said, "Nice car." He was being more sarcastic than anything. So I decided to bite. "Thanks," I replied. "A friend of mine is borrowing my car, and he's getting it inspected for me, finally." I walked inside and shut the door behind me. (Hey, my dad *is* my friend, right?? )
If he's dumb enough to believe that anybody's gonna shack up with a preggo woman, well, then he's dumb enough to believe it, I guess. And maybe there are some guys like that out there. I've never found one, though.
When I was leaving, I showed H a tiny pair of shoes that the girls' gymnastics instructor gave me for Christmas. H was indifferent and said, "Sweet." I told him I'd catch him later, and left.
Four more months, four more months, four more months. That's my mantra.
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