I feel strange commenting your situation since I am so new to mine but I will give it a try. I think her feeling enough to cry over the end of what you have may mean it's not the end. From all I have read it seems like the apathy and THEIR detachment is a worse thing than conflict and emotion towards you. The theory being that so long as they are engaged with you, then there is a chance to work through whatever is causing the bad feelings. Your case seems so much different than mine but I can see mine getting there and I don't know how I would feel. It seems to me, as an infant in this process, that it isn't over for you until you decide it is and that may have to be for your own good at some point. For me I don't think that time would come before I received D papers and I think it may last past the D itself. I am capable of taking a lot and obviously so are you. I think what defines most of us here is our inability to accept divorce when we know there are so many other things that are proven to at least help a relationship flourish while our spouses have taken the other path of unguided self discovery that seems perfectly sane to them and totally crazy to us. You continue to display the kind of courage and unbelievable love to this woman who may either be beyond deserving it or beyond accepting it but it is in your perseverance that you will probably gain the most personal strength. I know when I am having a bad day (like today) and then I pull out of it, it is my ability to do so that gives me renewed hope the next time I slip back down. In your case, each time you face your W and D's with the strength of your convictions and character intact, then you are still on the right road as far as I can tell. Like I said, she already said it was the end but until she actually makes it over, you get to decide when it really ends and I don't think that's just yet for you. Hang in and I really do hope you can get through this.
