W came to talk to me and said I was 'bad mouthing' her to D15. The reason: D15 told her I said that 'mom was upset you took the decorations off the tree the other day' when she was angry at W. I didn't say that exactly I ASKED her why she had taked the decorations off the tree because MOM had noticed and we were wondering what was up with D15 that would make her do that. So now W thinks that every time I go for a drive with D15 I am 'bad mouthing' her. I told her I am not. I told her I love you and the girls love you and I do everything I can when D15 is mad at you to remind her of what you went through with me and how hurt you are. I said there is no way I will bad mouth her to the kids because she is their mom and I don't want them angry at her.
So this is a DB problem since now D15's anger is coming across as if I am the source. So now she is really mad at me.
I told W today that since we are 'separated' that if she were on her own she would get about $2500 in child support and alimony from me. In our current household that would basically pay the mortgage. So, I said she should pay half the utilities and health insurance. That comes out to be about $700 a month for her. With her credit card bill and other bills she already has to pay since they are 'her things' she is looking at about $1,200 a month. She started to cry and wanted to drop her health insurance and stupid stuff like that. I told her no way, I'll pay for it because she needs to have insurance. I can't have her hurt and the kids thinking I didn't do anything for her. I hate doing this but I know I need to because she's supposed to see that being 'single' isn't a free ride. I actually pay for a lot more than what I put on the spreadsheet. I didn't put food on it at all.
So, now I am the bad guy. But this is her life. She chose it and has to live it. She won't know how it feels to be 'single' if she doesn't have to live in reality.
