Quote: Your W was, or is, angry because she cant get to Conn. to see OM. Tell her how sorry you are she cant go, do it with feeling, and its easier if you pity her. Then tell her if you could find a way for her to go you would. In fact actually get flight info and give it to her. Tell her to take all the time she needs with OM. Also, find out why OM cant make it to CA and work on this, but with compassion and feeling; pity her. Ahhh...and another thing to start is to plant seeds of doubt in her mind about OM. Say things like "Hmmm...I wonder what he is doing tonight."
I did actually tell her how sorry I was that she was unhappy at xmas time because she couldn't be with OM. At first she thought I was mocking her, but when she realized I was being compassionate she cried a little and told me how torn up she was inside since she knew she should be happy to be here with the kids. I got some points for that one but it was fleeting.
As far as me finding a way for her to go, of course I could. So could she. She has access to ALL our money and has several thousand $$$ on her credit card. She cries poverty but her last trip was a mere $400 including the hotel SHE paid for. You'd think he would at least pay the hotel so all she has to pay is airfare. Yet, she doesn't go. Which brings us to the third thing: Why doesn't OM come here? Costs are the same and SHE could pay hotel costs at motel 6 ($49). I mean, if he is IN LOVE wouldn't he want to see her? This is the mystery to me. I dated a girl in college who graduated and moved to Ohio (I lived in NY) I still flew to see her every 2 weeks until it became clear that if I didn't move there we wouldn't last. I loved her but didn't move because it was too hard for me to leave my roots at that time, and she broke up with me.
So your comment on 'planting the seeds of doubt' would cause me more problems because she would think I am mocking her or being mean. Given her insecurities I would think that SHE is wondering on her own WHY he isn't trying really hard to see her. Although when she got back from her december trip she told me they would 'rarely' see each other because of their sitch's. So it is a tragic love affair, how dramatic.
This is all a crock, I would never have a 'relationship' like she is in. As a man, I would do whatever I had to do to scrimp and save $$ to get to my 'love of my life'. Wouldn't you?
I really think she is subconsciously waiting to see if he WILL do it rather than her going to see him.
On another side note regarding money, I told her this morning that she has to pay 1/2 the utilites from now on to live here since we are 'separated'. I'll post more on that conversation later.
