Quote: do I outwardly be loving, affectionate, and caring when my W is distant and possibly thinking of the OM? Where is the line of pushing and what is showing love?
Well, I know in my sitch I prefer to pull back at those times because she sure isn't thinking about ME! I prefer to leave her in her own thoughts so she can process them.
I make myself less available by going to my room and reading, or go for a walk or something. It makes me feel better. If she comes and finds me to talk, then I'm nice but I stick to short answers or comments UNLESS I can see she has something about her feelings to talk about.
I want her to respect my space and boundaries too. When she calls OM she has violated them big time. She should not be able to call OM and then expect me to go 'hi hon, let's have a hug!' (unless for some reason she is hurting and needs one - that always trumps detachment for me).
Personally, I think youw W needs to think that you are becoming LESS interested in reconciling while she is talking to OM. Like I said, upset the balance on the see saw.
