Quote: I think it's because I understand how I got here now, and how 'out of my hands' it is. And I just don't see her and I together again when there are OM's out there who will offer the good feelings without the bad baggage. Yeah, they don't have all the good traits I have (when I'm not being hurtful like I was) but if you stick your hand in a fire and get burned you aren't going to do it again. She has had enough.
Deep realization I have made in the past couple days - during my low point (you a Gemini too?). We NEED to detach - for them and moreso for us.
I love the bag of feather's analogy you posted from your counseling session. Brilliant.
Quote: Time is needed for the WAS's wounds to heal and the emotional history to dissipate. This is also helped along by the LBS creating new positive moments in the interim, and that will also show consistency.
Right. Very important. I've seen softening in my W when I do this - from my posts earlier in the week. I need and I think you need to step up the GAL stuff - it helps keep us focused on generating NEW, POSITIVE, moments. For my W, she needs to see the actions, and PMA, and new found CONFIDENCE that I WILL find by detaching and GAL'g.
You and me are at *precisely* the same point in our DB journey I think. We will endure, as better people and someday as better spouses if the path we choose is different from our W's today. But, that doesn't mean those paths don't reconnect. But we MUST start down the path, for ourselves, our children and even in some way for our W's.
I'm ready for the first steps. You with me?
E
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
