Yes, I can agree with that, she is 'classic' WAS except for one thing. The deep hurt she is experiencing that I caused by not taking care of her. That in itself makes it hard to believe she would ever want to be married to me. Especially since OM has none of that baggage.
Mmm, that's not an exception. I found that in the index of the WAS manual, it's on page 196.
Correspondingly, pg. 196 of the LBS manual points out that virtually every reconciliation is between two people where one may have previously been hurt so much that they had broken the relationship. It goes on to point out that in time, same old issues she has and new ones OP brings to the table can create new bad history for her with him, yadda, yadda.
Time is needed for the WAS's wounds to heal and the emotional history to dissipate. This is also helped along by the LBS creating new positive moments in the interim, and that will also show consistency.
Either way I love her enough to let her go and make her own life happier. Isn't that why we are here? Because we do love them enough to do whatever it takes to be happy?
And your happiness too. And perchance maybe really their real happiness doesn't lay in being with someone else, but in making the primary relationship the best one ever. Who's to say? I'd think making yourself genuinely into the better option, regardless of if she wants it or not, is a way of working on both your own happiness (foremost), and hers.
