I think you should listen to the psychiatrist. H and I went to joint C with one therapist and I went individually to another T. Both of these professionals told me that what happened in my M had nothing to do with me. That this happened because of H's issues. I remember replying that even if that were true, it doesn't make it hurt any less.
It really isn't about us. It's something they need to work through. Can we make improvements in ourselves and our R? Sure. But, the underlying issue has to be dealt with by our WAS.
One of the reasons I see hope in your sitch is that your W continues to go to C with you and Ds. She has not closed off the idea of getting help. I think your therapist is pretty slick, too. W may think she is just working on being good friends and coparents but there is more going on than that.
Hang in there Frank.
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
