WOW, I really needed this response! I feel like Sh*t tonite too after our family counseling session. I'll post later on that
Quote: I'm starting to get a little aggravated by her "flashing tendancies". She knows exactly what she's doing. If she does it again, I would immediately turn around and walk away. She can come out and get the phone when she puts her robe on!
Well, it's actually pretty rare that she does. I mean two times in maybe 3 weeks. I don't think it's intentional as she basically won't let me touch her or see her in general.
Quote: IMHO I still think your W is waffling. I still think there is hope here for you and your family.
Can you elaborate more on why you think that? I'm not feeling it. She is so 'matter of fact' on everything she says and does and has no doubts about divorce. I'm just so hurt and angry at her. I can cope with her when she is down but when she gets into this superficial 'up' mode where she is a 'funny happy person' it kills me and I get down, which doesn't help my DB'ing.
Quote: Okay you can leave the mirror now...but I want to know what you see when you look in it....I see a MAN!! A real man...not too many of you around...
Thanks, I know I really am a good man, I just feel like I did so much to damage our relationship and it'll never be good again. But I do know that I didn't do everything, she also contributed to it. It's only been 2 1/2 months since she bombed (Oct 22) so I guess my biggest problem is I am expecting too many changes from ME in that time. I'm trying to detach but it's coming across to her (as she said to me) as me being passive-aggressive. I am sure I will get better at it.
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Long distance EA will eventually get old, furthermore so much anticipation of *the fantasy* will be created that actually meeting those expectations would be impossible.
Hang in there and keep supporting your kids b/c they need you now while their mommy is lost at sea chasing whales.
God I hope so. but as little as a week ago she was calling him 'my love' in e-mails. Things like that make me feel like it's never gonna end. And he still says he's going to move out here sometime in the next year.
She hasn't talked about the whale thing in a while. Like I said in an older post, she is pretty much a 'normal' person all the time. If you met her you'd think she was your basic soccer mom type. Friendly and outgoing. It's these random weird beliefs that get me.
The biggest thing is that she seems to be getting more and more comfortable with being divorced. Part of that I think comes from the fact that she is living at home and hasn't really gotten hit by any big bills or stuff like that. So for her getting divorced means 'freedom'. Today in family counseling some stuff came up to challenge that which I will post later.
Thanks again everyone! I'm really in a personal emotional crisis here and I need the support. I know I write great, logical posts explaining stuff and helpful concepts as I am learning them, but right now I am torn up inside.
