New years day and W is still angry / distant. Don't know why. I know I am taking it personally which is NOT what I should be doing because it will come across in my attitude. I'm still hoping for more feedback from others about my 'I don't know what this means' post from friday.
This week, and this new year I am dedicating myself to letting her go for real. Ow, it's hard and I have been trying but it does scare me because it's like admitting that our marriage is over forever. But that's what she says so letting go and giving her what she says she wants is good for my dignity and self esteem.
I'm worth it. I'm strong and getting stronger every day. I miss her even though I see her every day living here in our house. She doesn't miss me because she gets what she wants from me whenever she wants it and the rest of the time dreams about OM and the promises he has made.
It's so natural for us to take care of our W's and to let go and detach is unnatural. I'll keep doing it but I WILL reach out to her if I see she is hurting. That's a part of who I am and I won't change that for any reason. I just won't be around her as much to fill in the day to day gaps in her life.
