Frank, Very interesting indeed. I have started to do the same thing you are doing. On Wed. I went to my house to be with the kids. First thing I did was hand my W the miniIpod I got our D11 for Xmas. Told her I cold not register it and that she should do it. She had a look on her face, that pissed look she gets when things dont go her way. Then, instead of eating my dinner with her, I went into the playroom to watch movie and eat with S6. Then she came into the playroom and asked me a question, which I answered. She then says I seem angry about something and I say no, I answerd her question(of course I am angry you dumb bi((h, after what you have done and are doing, your da)) right I am angry, wake up!) By doing what we are doing they must react to us. They think we are angry. They have just acknowledged our 180. They are confused and curious as to what is up. Why? Well...we have started to take away control along with security. We are no longer as available and they want to know why. I have not spoken to my W since, and I will not call her. I will be nice but I have stopped pursuing her. If she wants something she will have to ask. For instance, the Xmas tree will need to be discarded. She will have to ask me or someone else to get rid of it, or do it herself. I am not offering to do it. If she does ask me, I will take care it. The bottom line is, as you have pointed out, our Ws need to see that we are not the source of their unhappyness. They own that themselves. They are responsible for their happiness or unhappyness, not us. The same goes for us too. From there we now get into neediness and so forth. You know the rest, I am sure. Keep doing what you are doing. Detaching lovingly is the key to either happiness together or happiness apart. Either way we will be happy. Happy New Year.
