Got a call an hour ago from D15 who is with W and D10 at W's friends house about 1 hour drive away.
D15: Hey Daddy, can you come and get me. I want to go home.
Me: Are you ok?
D15: I just want to be home. I'm not feeling well.
Me: Did you talk to mom about this?
D15: Yes, she doesn't want me to go home tonite.
Me: Let me talk to her
D15: She isn't here, she went to get dinner with (friend)
Me: OK, when she gets back you talk to her about this and then have her call me. I'll drive in that direction anyway since I'm going out so I'll be closer if you decide you are still coming home.
D15: OK
---
15 minutes Later...W calls me on cell
W: I heard you were coming to get D15
Me: Yeah, she called me and I told her to talk to you and I would drive that way so if you both decide it's what you want to do I'll be part of the way there
W: Well I wish you had called me first to talk about it
Me: She told me you had talked, and I told her to clear it with you when you got back
W: Well next time there is a problem please call me before you do anything. As a friend and Co-Parent of our kids that's what I need you to do. That way they don't have to be caught in the middle between us.
Me: Uh, she wasn't in the middle. I told her to CLEAR IT WITH YOU WHEN YOU GOT BACK. I only drove in the direction of where you are because I figured she wouldn't be talked out of if and that way I'd be at least 15 minutes closer.
W: Well, I talked to her and we're going to have our dinner, play some games and then I'll come home with her.
Me: What about D10? And your friend? You won't be able to spend time with her.
W: Well that's ok. D10 will stay there and they'll have fun.
Me: I am part way there, I can come and get her
W: No, I told you I would bring her home. It's ok!
Me: ok, I am just trying to be flexible.
W: Ok, well I'll see you in a while. Bye.
All I could think about was that it was MORE important for her to be in charge than it was for D15 to get emotional support from HER FATHER. She never once talked about D15's feelings.
I drove back home and lost it big time. Nobody home so I just yelled and pounded the bed. I have this little book of photos she made up for fathers day where she labeled some with lines like 'I love you because you are you!' and 'I want to grow old with you'. All I could do was yell and pound the bed and throw pillows. What a LOSER. She was never there for me when I needed help. She complained or 'tried to help' or whetever but she was NEVER there.
Now she's all 'in love' with a guy who is beyond loser - two time divorcee, smokes 2 packs a day, has all kinds of other problems in his life, takes his Girlfriend of 3 years to a retreat to 'work on relationship' and meets W there and they are now soulmates and lovers. Comes back and dumps GF. W dumps me and pursues him. Now he's going to 'move out west' so he can start a new life, and be with her of course. At 39 years old? What kind of man acts this way?
She can have him. She scored a winner there. But, but, it's LOVE! She is so f'ing heartless right now. Maybe this is what I need to help me detach. I really hate her right now. As far as I can see she ain't ever coming back and I don't want her to unless she CHANGES and GROWS UP.
If she says anything to me I am going to point out that D15 wouldn't be all upset if YOU weren't screwing some loser and destroying our family for him. Oh, wait, sorry, she is FINDING HER PATH IN LIFE. Right.
But what will I really do? I'll DB of course. Because that's what we do, we eat s**t from them because we hope they will see that they should be in the family with us. Aren't we special.
