Those are excellent goals. Detachment is a really good thing and yes it seems to take us a given amount of pain before we get there.
You will be happy either way. Your obviously putting a great deal of thought into this. You will grow from this immensely. I know that's not any consolation at this point, but it will be.
I would suggest you stop writing so much and just read. Read the positive posts and the negative ones also. I find that I learn from the positive posts and I see my mistakes in the negative ones allowing me to correct them easier.
Although my Wife is not having an affair I see a lot of the same as you do. They seem to have it all figured out even though what they have figured out makes no sense. Ignore it absurdity of it. It will get you nowhere.
I get all the same stuff. We married to young. yeah 30 is young huh. and all that crap.
I quite drinking and it has brought me a lot of clarity. I reccomend it.
