Our Marriage Counselor has advised us to see a mediator as to iron out all the details and to see what would happen if we actually get a divorce. Financially. We are still living in the same house but I am miserable. Anybody ever been through this.
My XW and I used a mediator. All things considered, it was economical and fair. We agreed to a 50 / 50 split on everything. She kept the house and bought me out - eventually....
However, when I do get bitter, I wished I had used an attorney and ruined her life, as she did mine.
But, I am NOT bitter most days anymore.
We were not living under the same roof, nor seeing a marriage counsellor, as she wanted out ASAP!!!!
Hope that helps a bit.
M: 35; Together 14 years - married 5.5 no children Bomb 22-JAN-2005; D a few months later First real relationship post D just ended ( 7 months ):(
Thanks, SOme days I want to be fair and other days I want to take my Dad up on his offer to hire the best laywer money can buy. We will be doing things 50/50 except for the kids, I get them. My H wants out asap and seems to think it can be done by the end feb, I think he is nuts, Oh [censored] he is.....Thanks
Mediator is a neutal party that helps you both come to separation agreement (property and all). Once you and the spouce "agree", then it can get turned over to one lawyer (assuming you both agree) to be put in "legalese" and submitted to the court. Advantage: mediator costs less than "lawywers-his/hers" doing the same thing, IF you are both amicable.
My Mrs went to the lawyer first, so she has one and I have one ($4500 in fees at this point between the two of us)
Note: comments based on IL law
As for quick out: My Mrs filed in June 2005, hoping for an Oct 2005 out. Her lawyer had told her 6mo-1yr. (next court date is Jan 18, 2006 settlement papers are not right yet)
Frankly the courts would rather see us do DB/DR and avoid the divorce process...hence there is time built in to allow reconciliaion...
Our coounselor recommended the same. So did my lawyer. Result W refused and we're up over US$50,000. Yep it's no typo. Once the lawyers get their hands on your situation it will get ugly. Go to the mediator. Two good things can happen. 1. When your spouse sees the cost they'll reconsider 2. You keep money hungry lawyers at bay
In the final analysis, give DB more opportunity. you never know!
We did meet with a mediator and got most things ironed out but I am going to get a laywer to review and to know what my rights are and that we are taken care of. This really sucks!!!
Boy do you have a rude awakening coming! "I am going to get a laywer to review and to know what my rights are and that we are taken care of." Don't count on it. Lawyers see your situation as clinical, an opportunity to bill, bill, and bill some more. It hasn't yet begun to suck. So, read DB and understand that the best thing you can do is not telegrapgh any punches. Don't react the way you did (180) and don't discuss relationships (go dark). Oh, and pray.
All the time - a year later. But the good are beginning to outnumber the bad
Watch out for the attorneys, they may prey on you, and talk you into all out war. As long as you feel you are getting your fair share, you should be alright. Do what you feel you should to protect yourself...
As angry as my XW was with me, she was very fair on the divorce agreement.
M: 35; Together 14 years - married 5.5 no children Bomb 22-JAN-2005; D a few months later First real relationship post D just ended ( 7 months ):(
Me and H have alot of assets and a business that needs to be analyzed. So what we are doing is going with a mediator and using laywers to review the divorce decree. My h's business is worth quite a bit of money 500k to 1 mil so I really feel I need some legal help. I know laywers are out to get you but I am hoping to hire one that is honest. An oxymoran, I know.
