Hi NOP... I haven't posted here because I have been trying to emphasize the positives, but now I am thinking it might be useful to outline some of the negatives in order to troubleshoot them better.
Things that kill the relationship for me: 1. When H acts all energetic and happy to make plans that don't include me ( like scheduling raquetball with a friend) but acts dud-like when it's about just me and him. I feel taken for granted. He has been making an effort to add " together time" to our schedule..which I really appreciate.
2. When H gets defensive when I bring up issues that are bothering me...I just want some reassurance from him and the feeling that he understands where I am coming from, but often he becomes defensive and attacking. I know I can improve my communication style here so that he can better hear me, but when he doesn't, I tend to escalate and then a bad interaction ensues.
3. When H looks for praise and fails to acknowledge some of my contributions...again, I feel taken for granted.
Will stop here for now, as I don't want to get into a " bashing " mentality. I guess the feeling I am missing sometimes is truly feeling valued for who I am...just that feeling of being embraced and adored, quirks and all. But truth be told, I also hold this back on him, and one thing that I have learned here is that if I want change, it has to start with me.
