The more I think about it the more I am convinced Resentment is the King of the Jungle of relationship killers. Why? It has too many tentacles (okay, so now an octopus reference...sheesh. what's my deal). It is pervasive in every single disharmonious situation. And it is also a two-headed powerful beast, (mythological creature reference now. argh!) unlike most other common relationship killers. It both destroys your view of your SOs and destroys your view of yourself (self-esteem).
Resentment over finances Resentment over sex, too much or lack of Resentment over past deeds/acts (EAs/PAs etc.) Resentment over past comments/attacks from others you can't let go Resentment over lack of attention Resentment from being smothered Resentment from being controlled Resentment from failed expectations of SO Resentment from being taken for granted/unappreciated Resentment from not being heard or understood Resentment from being invalidated Resentment from feeling inadequate (self) Resentment from failed aspirations (self) Resentment from feeling ugly/fat/stupid (self)
Need I go on?
And that's why I like NOPkins mantra so much. It's so efficient. It's so interchangeable. It has this powerful word in it. It's interchangeable because in my sitch I choose to reword it:
"Affairs are the Embodiment of Silent Resentment, fuled by a sense of entitlement and the lack of respect."
Corri--
Nice comments. I do think you will receive what you project in this life. Ever notice what happens when an positive, caring, high energy person enters a room? Big smile. Eager handshake. Hearty back slap. Big laugh. Everyone feeds off the energy. Frowners one second start smiling next. All take a step closer to this person. Same thing with love/hate. Angry, bitter people (topical, Scrooge, lol) enter room there is eggshell uneasy vibe...vibe that repels not attracts.
Pretty much goes back to Biblical even, eh? For God So Loved the World He Gave His Only Begotten Son... resulting in His hurt from sacrificing son. Knew some people would reciprocate, others would reject him. Son loved Father and Son loved Man enough to feel unimaginable hurt and be sacrificed. It's all within Self in both cases and emanates to others.
That's why I can't hate or want revenge in my sitch. As the saying goes, "To want revenge is to dig two graves, one for the person who betrayed you and one for yourself."
All I can do is love and accept the big hurt, so to speak. While not sacrificing my duty to honor myself in the process. Like Christians and pagans. Some people in my life will recognize it and reciprocate my love; others won't and will reject me. So be it.
This topic could burn through a lot of threads. Shame on you. ;-)
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
