1. Blaming someone else for what I was unable or unwilling to accept/change within myself.
2. Fear (of dam near everything)
3. Not liking the 'choices' that were presented to me, and assuming I knew what the outcome of the choices would be should I choose either one.
4. When presented with choices I didn't like, I mistakenly thought I could find or create another choice to my liking if I just stuck with it long enough. (this being akin to 'taking the easy way out.')
5. Trying to change the other person to suit my preferences rather than accepting them exactly as they were.
6. Thinking that 'failing' was the worst possible outcome.
7. Attaching my self-worth to someone else's opinions.
8. Piss-poor boundaries, not defining myself and what I wanted in an R, and therefore using my unwillingness to own these things as an excuse for being a victim.
9. Thinking God would send me straight to hell for 'ripping' apart my family.
10. Using my partner's 'minimal' efforts as an excuse for not making a choice (well, he's trying. Well, he's a good man at heart; well, he's this, or he's that).
11. Believing in the concept called compromise. There is no compromise. Period. There are only choices.
12. By failing to understand that the minute I began backing off on who and what I am, I agreed to contribute to the demise of my R.
Corri
I'm still working on this list by the by, but these have been some of my conclusions.
