Hanging on/The Long Haul #6

[WCW]

A few weeks ago we were invited to help some folks this weekend, it involves horses. I mentioned it to H, he didn't say much at the time, I didn't bring it up again until this morning about going. We also have a meeting one day this weekend which is still bouncing back and forth, and H said 'we' couldn't go due to that meeting. I said it was a one day meeting and that left the other day open, although it is a 3 hour drive one way to friends place. H seemed interested then, and asked a little bit more, but then he said he might have plans with one of our other friends, and he wasn't interested in driving across the state to play. I got a bad feeling about the way he changed his mind and his tone of voice so fast. Feels wrong, gut feeling. I would still like to go, and will make my plans accordingly, pending weather, directions, etc. I also know that other friend is not able to go with H, because I talked to that guy today and offered him the option of coming to play also which H hadn't mentioned to him, but he can't go anywhere this weekend. I look forward to having fun this weekend, although it will be a lot of driving for me, and no one to share the trip with. I get sad when I think of doing these things without H along, I've just gotten so used to doing things together as a couple, things we share a common interest and enjoy. That is past tense now it seems. I did all those things I enjoy on my own before H came into my life, I can enjoy them again without him too. It's what we get used to.

It also gets difficult because our friends and activities and hobbies are so comingled that it feels weird when we end up asking the same people to do something, one direction with H or a different with me. Weird. H continues to exclude me from his life, but he can't exclude me from our joint friends. Doesn't that have to their choice?

I'll need to start a new thread again soon. Not sure where to go from here. There is not a forum for Separated But Living Together or WAH Almost. So for lack of a better place, I'll stick around in Piecing for now, and try to gather some positive vibes about Back Together Again. I still have Pieces, but I feel like I'm in Humpty Dumpty's story - all the Kings Horses and all the Kings Men........

Think positive! think positive! think positive! jump on in here anyone and help out! Think positive! think positive!!