Hanging on/The Long Haul #6

[WCW]

Thanks for the hugs and thoughts. I'm having a dang hard day today, bad PMA. I just can't shake it, I'm angry and upset at H because of things he did long ago, and because of things he won't do now. It's all wrapped up into one big angry ball of emotion that is leaking out of me today and affecting my attitude in everything I do. I bet I even look angry today.

Had no contact with H last night when he got home (late) from the ski hill, or this morning other than I said "I'm headed out" while he was in the shower and he replied 'ok'. But then he called work this morning to talk to another lady here about some things (friends), but he wouldn't even transfer to me and say hi. Jerk. I know, I need to be Less Consumed. But I'm feeling pretty down.

So I check my home email, and found some encouragement for me. As a prelude to understand it, a very busy volunteer person died and that organization is not functioning well with his loss. The email to me says - "It's that volunteer thing. Allot of organizations are handicapped by the loss of a key volunteer. As our group would be without you. Thanks"
So I had a little pickerupper.

And then Chris LeDoux sang to me from the radio - He said "Sit tall in the saddle, Hold your head up high
Keep your eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky
And live like you ain't afraid to die
And don't be scared, just enjoy your ride"

I think I was so focused on getting thru the holidays, I did. Now I have to refocus on something positive, get out of the mood I've let take over me. And now this is on the radio, "Jesus Take The Wheel". Good idea.