but for now it is his choice to stay here Exactly!
It's not your fault his checking account is so low. You've said yourself that you're not sure what he's doing with his time, so maybe he doesnt have the income he'd have if he was working more? I can so relate to how you feel though. Since I split our bills down the middle and insisted that H pay half of them, I know his account gets low and I feel bad. Hang in there though. They are grown men and if they need more money in their account, they can stop spending, or try to make more We manage don't we?
hmmm... what happens if instead of just trying to get a hug you ask him for one and say "It's been a rough day.. I really need a friend right now. Think you could spare a hug?" Maybe he'd do that. It's hard to show them emotion and be afraid of causing guilt, but if it's just your emotions about life in general and not to do with your M, maybe that would open a door to understanding with him. Just little baby steps might not chase him away.
We manage don't we? 
