You are full of good ideas! Whew! I can even ask him where he would upload a picture!
And, he might wonder what you're family is going to think if you don't include him because he's not acting like an H right now. This chance might present itself NYE. We are invited to some friends house, other couples all coming, eat and games. They already know that H can't be invited thru me, he resents that, it has to come direct from them. When I talked to our friend today, she made sure to say that if H won't come I should still come myself. I said I plan too.
Can you/would you explain your thinking on this? Do you think you're controlling him? In some ways, yes. Sure, he can finish packing and leave anytime, I can't stop him. So can I, he can't stop me. When I made the slightest move last week to fill his empty closet space, he reacted, left classifieds laying where I would see them. I still don't know if he's acting on that, but for now it is his choice to stay here. That could all change when he walks in the door tonight. I really hate that part the most. The dread of always wondering, not having a clue what his plan his. And then I think I'm better not knowing, and I don't have to be a bad actor. And I can continue to talk about day to day plans and ignore what he might be doing.
How ya gonna show that man you need him? I don't know! still working on that. get him involved in horses, something physical? or on an emotional level? I did tell him the other day I slipped and fell. He said, oh yeah? at least he reacted! I have to rework my 401K stuff, or stay away from money things? How do I say I need love and affection without chasing him away?
KIWI, HI!
Someone please tell me that it's not my fault if H's checking account is so empty. I had to go online today to transfer money for taxes, saw his account too. I'm feeling guilty, like I took all his money to make the house payment. But, I am not the one spending too much money on everything else, or hiding or stashing, or ????
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
You could ask him to pose for you so you could get some good shots with the camera....do the whole "work it for the camera baby!" thing so you can work some sexy comments in there.
About the checking account, if you aren't a part of his finances then you cannot carry the weight of that. He knew what bills he had to pay, it is not your job to make sure he spent it appropriately.
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Yesterday Is History
Tomorrow is a Mystery.
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but for now it is his choice to stay here Exactly!
It's not your fault his checking account is so low. You've said yourself that you're not sure what he's doing with his time, so maybe he doesnt have the income he'd have if he was working more? I can so relate to how you feel though. Since I split our bills down the middle and insisted that H pay half of them, I know his account gets low and I feel bad. Hang in there though. They are grown men and if they need more money in their account, they can stop spending, or try to make more We manage don't we?
hmmm... what happens if instead of just trying to get a hug you ask him for one and say "It's been a rough day.. I really need a friend right now. Think you could spare a hug?" Maybe he'd do that. It's hard to show them emotion and be afraid of causing guilt, but if it's just your emotions about life in general and not to do with your M, maybe that would open a door to understanding with him. Just little baby steps might not chase him away.
I am expecting some pats on the back from all of you! Yesterday I was off a few hours early from work, ran a few errands, came home for a while, and then left again before H came home. I was gone a couple hours, and when I got home H was out working on taking more snow off the roof. We spent the next couple of hours and got it done. Whew, only one broke rafter to fix! He never asked where I was, but did ask a couple other questions which I pleasantly answered without detail. It was late when we got in, both cold and wet, and H already has a bad cold. I changed to dry clothes and made soup for both of us.
Today is the day I invited some folks to come and ride and goof around, tonight we are invited to a NYE party, and tomorrow to a football party. None of these things have been discussed between us, just general knowledge. I'll just wing it I guess.
I was looking back at notes I had from a year ago. We were much more physical, touching, back rubs, etc, and I liked that. But also looked like more tension about things we'd each done, accusing each other, etc. Seems like a year later and we don't have any of that, but we don't really have anything. HHmmm. I know, I know. I have to break thru this no contact barrier again, or at least chip away at it.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
He'd expect that, and be braced, and I bet I'd never get close. Really, I've tried before. Unexpected and by surprise, and being I'm pretty nervous about restarting any physical touch, I think for me I need to start slow and little and gauge the response. Maybe even just enough to make him want more, like a bit of a tease.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
My day was good. Got some things done this morning that will make chores a little easier the rest of the weekend, H helped, and even explained his reason for doing some things the way he does. About 11am we were finishing up our late Saturday breakfast, and I talked about the afternoon, and H informed me of his own plans, and off he went. I was sad, but at least he was kind enough to tell me what he was doing. He has actually initiated some conversations, wow! So friends showed up this afternoon and we rode and had our own good time. The hard part is when everyone keeps asking where H is, why isn't he here? They're all so used to seeing us together and as a couple. But I enjoyed the company of all the people this afternoon. H called me once but I didn't answer, and would you believe he left a message?!!! So I called him back, left a message, and he called me back again! Pleasant, talked about where he was, I didnt ask what time he'd be home. I'm about ready to clean up and head out to NYE at another couples house. H knows, he's been emailed and called, so if he's not coming home or planning to play stupid and say he didn't know, he's the only one playing his game.
I do want to say many thanks to my friends here that take the time to offer opinions and advice. It has come to mean so much to me, it's really been a 'shoulder to cry on'. Thank you all, and best wishes for all of us to make 2006 a great year.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
It's a New Year. 2006. Howdy! and welcome with a smile!
Howdy MichaelH, glad you stopped by. Thanks for the boost! I was feeling a little down this morning, letting H's actions get to me. But, I am concentrating on me, and heading off momentarily to a football party. I want to start the new year off right, and have a happy day! Stealing this from TJ, what you focus on expands!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
We manage don't we? 
