Hanging on/The Long Haul #6

[WCW]

You are full of good ideas! Whew! I can even ask him where he would upload a picture!

And, he might wonder what you're family is going to think if you don't include him because he's not acting like an H right now. This chance might present itself NYE. We are invited to some friends house, other couples all coming, eat and games. They already know that H can't be invited thru me, he resents that, it has to come direct from them. When I talked to our friend today, she made sure to say that if H won't come I should still come myself. I said I plan too.

Can you/would you explain your thinking on this? Do you think you're controlling him? In some ways, yes. Sure, he can finish packing and leave anytime, I can't stop him. So can I, he can't stop me. When I made the slightest move last week to fill his empty closet space, he reacted, left classifieds laying where I would see them. I still don't know if he's acting on that, but for now it is his choice to stay here. That could all change when he walks in the door tonight. I really hate that part the most. The dread of always wondering, not having a clue what his plan his. And then I think I'm better not knowing, and I don't have to be a bad actor. And I can continue to talk about day to day plans and ignore what he might be doing.

How ya gonna show that man you need him?
I don't know! still working on that. get him involved in horses, something physical? or on an emotional level? I did tell him the other day I slipped and fell. He said, oh yeah? at least he reacted! I have to rework my 401K stuff, or stay away from money things? How do I say I need love and affection without chasing him away?

KIWI, HI!

Someone please tell me that it's not my fault if H's checking account is so empty. I had to go online today to transfer money for taxes, saw his account too. I'm feeling guilty, like I took all his money to make the house payment. But, I am not the one spending too much money on everything else, or hiding or stashing, or ????