The camera deal.. hmm.. instead of coming up with something to say to him that's pointed, could you just get it out and use it enthusiastically? Take pics of him, flirt a little. Tell him "hey handsome, smile for the birdie!" Show him how much you're enjoying the camera without apologies for your reaction when you got it. That might just confirm a negative in your mind if you approach it like you are trying to make up for your initial reaction. Maybe you could ask him to take a few pics of you too and just maybe he'd wonder who you're gonna give them too! Get on the PC upload them to somewhere GF..haha.
Im so happy you hummed.. Did you feel in lighter spirits just doing it?
For one thing, there isn't a lot of tension. My family doesn't know, and H and I have been doing this for so long (don't holler about that) that it is natural to act like nothing is wrong when we're with people. No hollering It's a good thing you've remained together so long? When I suggested this as an idea for a 180 I think I was saying that maybe it would be a way to create distance that would make him wonder. Like when you invite yourself along and he doesnt act like you're welcome. It's the opposite of pursuing him and maybe it would do him good to miss some of that family time to see how it would feel. And, he might wonder what you're family is going to think if you don't include him because he's not acting like an H right now. Hope that makes some sense!
he doesn't flaunt it, he's home every night, he doesn't disappear on me other than regular working hours. Am I settling for this? yeah, you're settling, but you're trying to use that to make something good happen in your marriage. At least you realize you're settling!
Am I also controlling him? yes, I am. I am making him stay involved in the day to day decisions of OUR place, I am not letting him run away and dump it on me. Can you/would you explain your thinking on this? Do you think you're controlling him? I mean.. how are you making him or not letting him do anything? Couldnt he just up and leave at any time? If you think he's there because you make him be there, maybe you don't realize that he's there because he's chosen to be there? Just worth a thought maybe. I can't see you as controlling, but maybe I don't understand the details enough to see it.
It would be a 180 to show need and want. Well, how about it? How ya gonna show that man you need him?
You are amazing with your perserverence! Hang in there!
It's a good thing you've remained together so long? When I suggested this as an idea for a 180 I think I was saying that maybe it would be a way to create distance that would make him wonder. Like when you invite yourself along and he doesnt act like you're welcome. It's the opposite of pursuing him and maybe it would do him good to miss some of that family time to see how it would feel. And, he might wonder what you're family is going to think if you don't include him because he's not acting like an H right now. Hope that makes some sense! 
