WCW- In your posts it seems like you might be getting to a point where you're ready to pull a 180 or two. I respect you so much for sticking by your principles and not wanting to stoop to H's level. But, I have to agree with DonH and Piglet and everybody that it IS time for some 180s.
Not being there, is certainly an easy 180' to pick out. I know that you have responsiblities at your place that you can't walk away from, but think hard about a way you could disappear for a little while (and yes, I use "disappear" shamelessly because I see absolutely no dishonor in it from where you're coming from right now). Is there a place you could spend the nights nearby? Your parents, your sisters, a friends? Then commute to do your chores?
Have you given serious thought to what it would take to keep your place without H? Could you downsize? What about that idea with your sister?
I don't think you should give him an ultimatum either. Not in words. Don't say "do this or I'll do that." Maybe there's a way you can just move on without him and really make him see that you are prepared to do without him.
THAT would really be a 180. Be COMPLETELY prepared to move on without him. Now I understand that you can not be completely emotionally prepared to move on without someone when you are in love with them. But, in every other way, make your plans to move on toward your dreams WITH OUT him.
I hate how harsh that sounds. But you seem better than anyone on these boards at taking people's input head on.
DonH is right. What you have done (or not done) to avoid pushing H away has not worked. So do what is DIFFERENT. It is so obvious that your H expects you to stay no matter what he does. So make it obvious by your actions that you will not be around no matter what.
And Sheila is right here also...if you let him know, through your actions, that you are capable of moving on without him, and he DOES use it as an excuse to flee...do you really want what he has turned into?
I'm only comfortable talking with you like this because I know from previous posts that you are able to weed out what is right for you and what isn't. And I trust you'll do that with this post too.
