Hanging on/The Long Haul #6

[WCW]

Becca, it seems like disappearing without warning is, I don't know, abandonment? I know I don't have kids, but animals, dogs, horses, I suppose as long as they got fed they wouldn't notice I was gone. But how would I feel just disappearing? miserable. There has been nights when I've been gone until 10pm or almost midnight at meetings, or at an activity, that H was not aware of. No contact from him. But I was thinking about your suggestion while I was out running some errands, and I got to thinking that the times I have been gone with family or friends and H knew that, he did make contact with me, although not as much as I would have liked. But when he was gone to his family, he was a real butt and contact or conversation with me was avoided by him as much as possible. Is that the image thing again? trying to look good to the right people? Also, I think that if I disappeared without warning H would use that as ammunition to do the same thing.

I did two errands over lunch - post office and library. One block apart. Dropped a letter off at the post office and started driving, and I couldn't remember where the post office was. When I remembered I was going the wrong direction, had to turn around, bo back.........I've lived in this town basically my entire life. Brain fart? CRS moment? too consumed? geez, this is nuts, I am nuts.

But on a funny note - Christmas Eve we were sitting around telling stories, started on jokes. My family is easily entertained, and most of them had a few hot toddies, I started with the fraid knot joke and everyone was laughing, and followed it with the interupting cow joke. Talk about silly, but everyone laughed pretty hard. The simple things in life, enjoy them.