Hanging on/The Long Haul #6

[WCW]

How cool! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you today! and probably my skis too, although that won't be intentional!

H may be sending some little positive things, I have to remember the other pressures he's under as well, and check myself that not everything I do is what makes his mood. Last night he came home pretty crabby again, although it was only about 6pm, early? I was just getting started on the regular chores 'cause I had restocked the hay pile, I was cold, and had to refill the grain barrels too yet because, you guessed it, no one else did. I forgot to whistle while I worked, but I did try to present a happy attitude, man it was tough with him around. I did have some good news to share, I found 20 big bales of hay that we'll need before the 2006 hay is available, just right up the road at the neighbors, and they're willing to trade a beef steer! I would say the hubby had the reaction of Eyore. But add some huff gruff aloof anger to that. Like he was mad at me for finding hay that we will be needing. Can't win with him, so I'll just win for ME!

I caught myself wondering all night what did I do that made H so crabby? moving stuff in the bedroom, asking him to do something, did he get feedback about an email I sent to some people that owe us money and he's mad because they might be upset that I asked them about it, did he get even madder because I found some hay and he didn't....???? then I remembered that I did not do anything wrong or bad, and he's the one that's been out until midnight for two nights in a row, and his attitude isn't my problem. Merry Christmas to you too buddy.

And, my Mom is sensing something, she's been emailing me a lot this week. I just don't want to dump on her right before Christmas, I don't want her to act any different to H, assuming that he is coming along with me to the activities.

And, for a 180 today, I went to say bye this morning, and H was fresh out of the shower. He said what? so I poked back in a 2nd time, and said I was headed out. He said, oh okay. The usual routine is when I'm leaving in the morning I say bye, he grunts or doesn't respond. Today, as he's still naked out of the shower, he says what? to draw me back. So, I fell for his trap. On my way to work I sent him a txt mssge - You are one sexy man. Sorry, but I couldn't resist telling you.