Howdy BeingMe, thanks for taking time to write the words. Great joke, isn't it? This morning was actually the first time in a while that I asked him to do something and let me know, well, except about the mortgage the other day. And that is only to try and keep things flowing and happening on the critter or critical front. For the personal side, he doesn't say and I don't ask, and he doesn't ask and I don't say. Maybe I see that with clouded eyes, am I asking for too much? Am I pursuing? I was actually feeling like I've been grey or dark, and thinking about coming back some? That's how it feels from here anyway, but maybe not from another perspective? Let me know how it looks from that end.
If I can pull it all together and get the time off work tomorrow, I am going skiing, for half a day or so anyway. Yup, I am. I am looking for someone to go with me, any takers? It's supposed to be sunny and in the 30's, I think it's my kind of skiing weather. First time out in 3 ?? years. If I don't do any posting after tomorrow, someone send the St Bernards, okay?
And now, being that I am married to the kind wonderful man that I am who moved the skidloader and plugged in the tractor for me but couldn't let me know he did, I am headed out to restock the hay pile.
TTFN
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Hi WCW. Wanted to let you know I got your question posted on my thread:
Quote: Was there any 1 thing that you did that you could say really attributed your H to lose his anger at you? Looking for suggestions.
I've been thinking about it a lot today, and will post about it in the morning, not sure I have any real concise answers, but maybe some tidbits. I really had to think to give any answers to you questions, but it's been good for me to recall.
I also read through your last 2 threads and your first one to try to understand your sitch. It's a tough one. I'm sure you'd like to plug your H into the outlet instead of the tractor.... Hard to resist sometimes, isnt it? Take care of yourself this evening, do something for you, even if it's just reading or listening to music or talking to friends, just something to take care of you.... I'll try to post some answers to your question that make sense in the morning Deb
I have to post in order to add your new thread to my favorites.
It kind of sounds like your H is sending out some small positive signals, am I wrong? I hope things are going ok.
I got a call from my real estate agent yesterday, just when I was feeling really down about getting a house and getting out of my mom's. My agent said that the first house I made an offer on (the one I liked better than the most recent house I made an offer on) is on the market again. The buyers' financing fell through, so I could make another offer if I wanted. I did that yesterday and I think there's a good chance that it will be accepted. I'm supposed to find out by the end of today!
Please keep your fingers crossed for me!! I have been doing a descent job of keeping my hopes in check up until now. But, now I really want this one. It's already empty so I could move in in a matter of a couple weeks. Oh, man do I want this to happen.
How cool! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you today! and probably my skis too, although that won't be intentional!
H may be sending some little positive things, I have to remember the other pressures he's under as well, and check myself that not everything I do is what makes his mood. Last night he came home pretty crabby again, although it was only about 6pm, early? I was just getting started on the regular chores 'cause I had restocked the hay pile, I was cold, and had to refill the grain barrels too yet because, you guessed it, no one else did. I forgot to whistle while I worked, but I did try to present a happy attitude, man it was tough with him around. I did have some good news to share, I found 20 big bales of hay that we'll need before the 2006 hay is available, just right up the road at the neighbors, and they're willing to trade a beef steer! I would say the hubby had the reaction of Eyore. But add some huff gruff aloof anger to that. Like he was mad at me for finding hay that we will be needing. Can't win with him, so I'll just win for ME!
I caught myself wondering all night what did I do that made H so crabby? moving stuff in the bedroom, asking him to do something, did he get feedback about an email I sent to some people that owe us money and he's mad because they might be upset that I asked them about it, did he get even madder because I found some hay and he didn't....???? then I remembered that I did not do anything wrong or bad, and he's the one that's been out until midnight for two nights in a row, and his attitude isn't my problem. Merry Christmas to you too buddy.
And, my Mom is sensing something, she's been emailing me a lot this week. I just don't want to dump on her right before Christmas, I don't want her to act any different to H, assuming that he is coming along with me to the activities.
And, for a 180 today, I went to say bye this morning, and H was fresh out of the shower. He said what? so I poked back in a 2nd time, and said I was headed out. He said, oh okay. The usual routine is when I'm leaving in the morning I say bye, he grunts or doesn't respond. Today, as he's still naked out of the shower, he says what? to draw me back. So, I fell for his trap. On my way to work I sent him a txt mssge - You are one sexy man. Sorry, but I couldn't resist telling you.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
The weather this morning started as freezing rain, but now the sun is out and I'm headed there soon. Of course now that I've been at work 6 hours today and I'm taking 4 hours of holiday pay....does that add up to 8 hours?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
My Ski Story Get off work early, motor on over to the ski hill, use my season pass (from H being on ski patrol), get all my gear on, manuever over to the beginner hill, yahoo! swoosh down the hill, no kaput, get back on the ski lift, swoosh down the hill again, feeling pretty good, got enough nerve to try the next bigger hill, start to 'skate' over to the lift for the bigger hill, notice my boot feels loose, so I bend down to tighten it, and see that all the tightening in the world ain't gonna help that boot 'cause it's cracked into pieces. SH*T! end of my skiing for the day. Man am I glad I didn't pay for that! But, I got my jitters out of the way, I can do this! It was great because the sun was out, in the 30's for temps, the snow was soft and not ice, I was pretty happy that I didn't fall down or break anything or break anyone else either. Even if it was just two runs. My ski boots I've had for 10 years and they were used when I got them, guess that's pretty old for ski boots.
As I was klomping out the gate back to my truck, I asked a guy if he knew anywhere local to buy ski boots. He didn't, but a couple other guys directed me to a place nearby. I went, found a pair, got them all adjusted, wondered should I or shouldn't I? one tidbit of info is that just before I left work I got my Christmas gift, which ironically was the same amount as the ski boots I was looking at. Normally I save it for a special something, put it in savings, and it ends up getting mixed in and paying bills or whatever. But I was gonna do it. I was buying new ski boots! I could go back and ski some more. I did try and call hubby to get his thoughts, being he is 'the all knowing', but he didn't answer. Too bad, I was gettin new boots. And then, the company didn't take my brand of credit card. bah humbug. So the boots are sitting there with my name on them, if I can get back there to get them.
Plan B - Christmas shopping. But first I had to fuel up, the truck and me too. I had a Big Mac attack, and while pulling out the driveway I noticed a Goodwill store. I went over and poked around. Lots of books! and sure enough, Divorce Busting. I've got my very own copy now! I also picked up a couple other books, but I couldn't find Divorce Remedy. By this time it was getting late, and I was getting my anxious feeling to get home. Forget more shopping, I headed home. Topped the hill and no lights at home, so my first reaction was to stay gone longer. I drove around a bit, the country mile, and looked at Christmas lights, decided it was dumb to again let my feelings chase me from my home or keep me from being home. So I went home, and now H was home.
He was out working on chores, I unloaded my packages and went to join him. Whoof! rounded the corner and met him face to face, I smiled, he glared, no one said anything. I went about the business of seeing what needed to be done. I wanted to get back in my truck and escape, leave, go anywhere. I didn't want another night of silent tension. I went for a walk, my faithful dog came with me.
Once we were both back in the house, H seemed to warm up just a little. Maybe he saw my busted ski boots in the trash, he never asked, I never said. He offered some of the Christmas treats he brought home from a client, that was nice.
And tomorrow is a new day!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Walked past H's truck this morning, he has classified ads for rentals laying on his truck seat. Whew! that hurts. A dose of reality. But first I want to make it thru Christmas without looking like I've been balling my eyes out. I guess then I'll try and figure out what to do next.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Hard to resist sometimes, isnt it?
You have me blushing WCW and I didn't even say it! Way to go! 
