But according to what I know of NPD, and what the C told me, that isn’t going to happen. That’s my problem. That’s why I’m presently having such a problem with anger and resentment.
See this is the part I have a problem with.
First your C needs to not only advise her of his diagnosis but C her on the fact that though she has no sex drive you do and to mantain a healthy marriage and meet your needs she needs to come out of her comfort zone and if not out of physical desire but love attempt to meet some of your needs. IMO.
I am not saying have sex with you daily. Maybe have sex once every two weeks and on alternate weeks do hand jobs or blow jobs once a week. That is not asking for the moon. And though she may not get aroused I am sure she is aware that you do. So she is aware that you have this need and she is not attempting to meet it. I really don't know what your current freqency is.(sometimes peoples sitchs run together in my head). But sex twice a month is better then twice a year and so forth, It is at least a effort to show how much you mean to her.
I myself do not know much about NPD. But I do know that you can match physical need with mental awareness. Example I myself am mentally aware my H has a high physical drive. While I do not have that same physical drive I still put forth the effort to meet his needs. Maybe it is more sparse then he would like but I do make the effort to fufill the baseline amount to keep him content if not happy with our sex lifes. It is/was not physical urges on my part that at one time prompted me to do this it is/was a mental desire to satisfy. And again there are the NOP's Mrs Nop is a self professed ND. Who has sex almost daily from what I have read. Who wanted to make her H happy. It again was a mental state not physical state that made her choose to do this. Same as myself and I am sure lots of others.
So a long winded way to say. Your wife regaurdless if she is ND/LD or what ever can make a mental choice to attempt to fufill some of your needs. Even though she does not have the same needs. And I fear that once the C gives her the diagnosis if he does not properly C her as to the ripple effects. It will be like a get off scott free card/ easy way out not to even try to make your needs important to her.
