No. Women are not going to comprehend our testosterone driven urges that basically cause us to want to F anything that has a remotely hourglass estrogen marked shape,( and please dont make me prove this) anymore then we understand their sexual enjoyment mechanism of being receptive and getting pleasure from our 'vigorous thrusting prior to our impending orgasms.'
Im not homophobic, but the mental picture of recieving that, gives me the heebie jeebies. I can logically understand their desire of it, but will never feel it. They will never feel ours, unless you mickey her drink with steroids.
As receivers though, she most certainly will feel your aura of need and in your case, a very high degree of domination overtone. Dominating is not attractive. Its completely different then being dominant. If your W was abused, that vibe that you are giving off of entitlement and deserving it for whatever reasons you have decided (hard worker, work out, good father, good provider, she owes you) will be strongly resisted.
I know my wife sure as heck does not know much about it. I dont know much of anyting about your sitch, but I wonder if you are correct about this.
At any rate she has a very specific idea of what a man should be like. If you arent that, neither you nor a myriad of books is going to change her feelings about it.
You cannot logical feelings.
for example, You chasing after something you believe to be improbable or impossible seems illogical to me. Untill you believe its likely and a certainty, that you can do it and know how, or can learn how, your just being a damn fool about it.
Your stuck in a loop. Cemar. If you cant get out of yours, to lead her out, how on earth can you expect her too? Thats your function, not hers.
There are dozens of questions you havent answered to the various R savvy ladies here. If you cant take some help and direction from them in this way, your W WILL break you of your need to control, and your need to have things your way, and it will be in a way you are not liking. How close are you to hateing her? Does she control your happiness? Finding the balance of leading and and being strongly confidant, while avoiding being bossy, disrespectful and dominating is not easy.
Either rise to lifes challenge or hit reset and hope the next challenge isnt so difficult.
As far as I can see focusing on her shoulds, have tos, and need tos isnt working. So why are you beating your head on that wall still?
You talk about EC but you never mention how you and your wife are friends, what activiites you do share, how she is important to you, what makes her tick, what she cares about, nothing remotely Emotional.
Just --she wont mix body fluids with me enthusiastically.
I just realized another illogical.
Me trying to get thru your entitlement. Guess what that means...
