Why does your W not like kissing? Telling us she doesn't like it...doesn't really give us an avenue to give you suggestions. It could be your technique (I've met some men I wasn't fond of kissing because of how they went about it). It could be that she doesn't want to do it because she doesn't feel an EC for you. Just because kissing creates an EC for you...doesn't mean it will work for her (I know you know that). She may need to feel the EC in order to "want" to kiss you. It's possible too that there could be much deeper intimacy issues going on, but I suspect it's that she doesn't have an EC with you that keeps her from kissing you. I know that's not easy to hear, but I suspect it to be the case.
I notice in many of your posts you often refer to something as "the ultimate expression...." or something similar. CeMar, you've got to remember that what you are saying is it is the ultimate for YOU, not necessarily HER or anyone else. I hear you often projecting your ideals towards her, as if because it's your ideal...it should be hers too, I think this trips you up, just as looking too far down the road keeps you from taking action.
So....what type of physical contact do you have with your W? If you tell me, none....then expecting french kissing is, IMPO, unrealistic at this time. Not unrealistic down the line, but you can't go from nothing to that.
Going for some real honesty here with you. CeMar, I have this hunch that you have a dynamic going in your R right now, although you don't give us much to go on.....that is pushing you two apart. I still haven't a clue how you behave with your W, you still haven't told us a thing on that, but you (to me) have a big sense of entitlement.....and that, to a woman is a repellant. I'm not saying YOU are repellant to her, but I can't get away from this gut feeling that your behavior somehow is.
When my H is doing things that I find unattractive, being a butthead, or patronizing me (he used to do this some), or not listening to me when I had something to say (much better about this now too), or even worse....trying to make me see things his way when I have my own opinion....my attraction to him goes downhill. I don't want to reach out to him, I don't want to be near him, I certainly don't want to be intimate with him. Now, add any behaviors similar to these, or the ones I mentioned, to a hectic day like I'm sure you guys have with your family and you have a recipe for disaster.
The reason I mentioned the behaviors I did is that I've noticed in my own experience....many men (not all mind you) have a tendancy to do at least some of these things to the women in their lives. Behaviors like that can push us away from you and over time that chasm just gets wider and wider until there is absolutely no EC there whatsoever. Think about your behavior, do you think you might be someone who does those things....without even thinking? It's not that it's malicious behavior, it's not even that it's behavior that's intentionally hurtful.....but just simple things like that can push someone away.
I did some thinking on this....the things I mentioned are things I've seen my Dad do to my Mom that I know for a fact pushes her away (she's talked to me about it)....and some of it my H has done with me, it gets the same reaction when he does it. My brother also has some of these behavioral tendancies.....and, I've noticed so do some of my male co-workers.
Once again....just something to think about. If you do have any of these behavioral tendancies....THAT is something tangible YOU can change that can affect your R with your W, it's a place to begin. That is also an example of how changing your behavior might have an affect on how she feels about you. It's, in a way, a respect issue. When someone does the things I mentioned to me, I don't feel very valued, I don't feel respected.
