The only thing I can offer is that you have to always remember that it is not about them...it is about you and your WAS. This other person is simply an escape from the problems of the R. The WAS generally cannot handle or chooses not to handle the situations of the R so they escape.
This is why it is so important to DB for yourself...because you only have control over yourself and noone else. The premise is that through GAL, DBing and getting a PMA, is that you learn to live your life, without the needing of the WAS in it. Sometimes this makes your WAS more attracted to you. In any event, it makes you a stronger person.
The one thing if you can find out is what it is that the WAS is attracted to the op for...in my case, WAS is an alcoholic...so is ow...so they drink to their misery. Misery loves company. Mileage may vary in each sitch. But the common thread seems to be that they offer the WAS a new lease on life...a promise to start over and leave the past behind.
