Quote: It isn't up to him to make her feel anything. How can there be emotions then? How can there be a connection if you dont cause the other person to feel? What is the point of LU then?
Emotions are internal barometers, not external. Of what you speak is a simple cause/effect scenario. You can compliment me or put me down, and I will feel a response in my body... a warm fuzzy or a cold prickly. Or I may feel nothing at all, depending on what I've decided you mean to me in my life... how much power I have given you over my emotional domain. It will be different based upon whether you are a stranger or something more significant to me.
If there is NO difference in my emotional response between a stranger and a SO, then I'd say I have not set any internal standards, and my emotional security is floating on the wind of other people's perceptions of me. (Or I have reached the level of master... two ends of the same spectrum).
First and foremost, though, decisions have been made within ME... a decision always preceeds an emotion, a thought, and action.
Quote: Why do we have marriages based on romance instead of arrangement then?
<shrug>. Cuz humans are addicted to dopamine and orgasms, and have little to no understanding of 'respect?' You can come to love someone you respect, but I'll go out on a limb and say you cannot harmoniously live with someone you do not respect.
Quote: Why do women/SO leave men/SO based on neglect if this is true? Why do they leave when they FEEL mad, hurt, angry, for someone else who does make them feel.
Out of fear that "I" first and foremost, am unlovable. For if I felt lovable, then YOUR neglect would not phase me. I'd simply move on out of respect for myself.
If you have hit a soft spot in me, then I will feel angry, or hurt, or jealous... these are FEAR based emotions. But it isn't because of what you have done... it is because of what I have allowed to fester or have not healed within myself.
If I enter into a relationship with someone, it is not because HE made me feel something... it is because *I* made a decision... otherwise, you are implying that I am at the mercy of anyone who comes along that can get me to feel a certain way... and I really have no choice in the matter.
