Another thing you might want to keep in mind, especally if your wife is into game playing (which she sounds like she is)... while you continue to wait in the wings, the appeal of the OM stays heightened. She's 'getting away' with something... she has at least two men who desire her... in short, your inaction with moving on perpetuates her fantasies...
You somehow have determined that if you start flirting or dating other women, she will 'up' her owm behaviors just to stay toe to toe with you. And if you are playing a game, this may be a real 'fear' for you.
HOWEVER... if you stay out of her sh!t, and concentrate on you... it won't really matter what she does, and she is going to quickly realize it. There will be no more power plays... she will only be left with a departing H, and some guy who is about to lose a lot of his luster.
This doesn't mean she won't eventually opt for OM, doesn't mean she'll come back to you... but until you level the playing field, you've got a woman who is having a grand old time 'playing' at other people's expenses. She will continue to play until she fully understands that 'play time is over.' ie., see BF's history.
