Just to set the astrological record straight... scorpio and taurus ARE NOT the perfect match. Lots of sparks fly between them, to be sure, especially in the bedroom... but the perfect match for long-term compatibility and good sex for a scorpio is a picses... and for taurus, it's cancer or libra.
Stig... let me ask you a couple of questions... i'm going to go back and look up your old posts, but I'll ask anyway. How long have you been DBing, and WHY do you want this woman back?
Believe it or not, our friend CeMar gave me a piece of eye opening advice once a year or so ago... I had been explaining the dynamics between me and my STBX, trying YET AGAIN to fix it all through sheer force of will and stick-to-itness... and CeMar comes through and says something along the lines of... "you aren't sharing quality time, you are sharing space. He's treating you like he would one of his male buddies, sitting in the same room with you, doing a parallel activity, thinking that counts as quality time with you, because it DOES count with his male buddies..."
Well... that blew my boots off. He was right. And that is almost precisely the time that my opinion that lack of sex was NOT our problem in my SSM marriage. The longer I hang around this water cooler, the firmer my belief in this concept becomes... oh, sh!t, I think I'm going off on a tangent.... there was a point to me bringing this up, but I forget now what it is... fudge...
Okay... anyway...
Quote: I'm waiting her out. Lots of R issues need aired.
This woman does not want to talk about R issues because if she did, there'd be a lot of self-accountability that'd have to go on with her... you waiting on her to 'air' these issues reminds her of things she'd really rather ignore. So dump them. Let them go. If you want this woman back... start the heck all over... as if you first met her...
Quote: Nothing in 2 months.. Surprising. Increases viability of OM2 IMO. Damned her. Tough witness. I have to cleverly lead her as I depose her to get to the truth...and she's very, very clever herself....multiple advanced degrees. The direct approach will not work.
Exactly. She gets to be a perfect princess with this guy. No ugly warts. No accountability. Nobody making her face herself. If she is approaching 30, is as clever and good looking and successful as you say... I'd say she is in the middle of her first full-blown MLC. She understands the power of youth and craves it... she has not a farthing of a clue what it means to be a woman.
Believe it or not, and I hope the other ladies here might chime in... some women do not gracefully transition from being the young hottie to an alluring woman. And it can happen around the age of 30 (did with me). One woman knows she's 'got the goods,' and plays with people (because she is still growing up), the other knows she IS the goods,' and does not tolerate fools lightly. THIS is a woman worth keeping... the former is as dangerous as stampeding elephant in a china store...
Why do you want to be with someone who so clearly has no respect for you? Why are you playing this game of chess with her? Are you saying the direct approach won't work with her because you are afraid of backing her into a corner, you are afraid of what her answer will be... you want to give her time to miss you and come to her senses.... or all of the above?
Have you thought about taking a haiatus from DBing and going out on a few dates (even if your heart isn't in it?) There really is something to GAL beyond working out.
What is driving the O/C within you? What's the weak spot in you? "If I don't get her back, it means I'm ___________ ..." what?
Quote: - Yes. I have Doritos. Pure poison but I don't care. I'm just trying to get to Jan. 2. And I like the Dolce Delece (sp.) Haagan D. Save some for me.
Oh, Doritos are pure poison... tests the willpower, too. "No, I will NOT eat the whole bag in one sitting...." Jan. 2 is just around the corner. I opted for the long road trip on Xmas day, btw.
Oh... yeah... have you asked yourself in the midst of this DBing... how MUCH have you healed? Or have you been so intent on getting this woman back that you have not stopped to consider just how far you have come... and how much your actual feelings for this woman have changed... have you done inventory yet?
tests the willpower, too. "No, I will NOT eat the whole bag in one sitting...." Jan. 2 is just around the corner. I opted for the long road trip on Xmas day, btw.
